Fool's Fiddle.

So the feelings are out, the thoughts have been said.
Mistakes have been made on my part.
And yet here I sit not entirely dissatisfied.
When all is said and done she made me happy for the course of a weekend.
Feelings not felt for a while were stirred up, cooked and devoured.
Real attraction. A fatal attraction.

How did it start? We have to travel back a month or so.
Through the crowds of people, chatter, banter and alcohol chirped a voice "Too young Follows".
I admit it raised a smile. A real one, not the fake ones i plaster onto my face in the mornings.
But nah it didnt start there. At that point she was just a beauty in the night, a lady to behold.
In hindsight I probably should have left shit there.
But no, it moved on. Week after week I saw her, heard her and in a way felt her.
The more we talked, the more I wanted to know of her.
The more I got to know of her.
The more I liked.

She was like nothing I had heard or seen before. Every word was....real.
Unquestionably devoted to the little things in life she made me realise a few facts.
1) I'm an emotional wreck when I don't need to be. She was right. I should be happy.
2) Life is an art form. She never used those words but from her mannerisms,pictures, words I picked up on this. Thankyou that I did.

She always seemed happy. I admit maybe alcohol had some effect but at the end of it all happiness comes from deep within. Instilled in us, nurtured and left to roam freely upon our shells. How I longed for just a slight connection. And then something changed. We spoke freely to each other. I spilled things I would never spill to anybody. Why?
I have no idea. I wrote a sentence. I wrote a paragraph. Next thing I knew I had devoted entire blogs to her. I tried to conceal it at first. Little revealing sentences here and there. Why? Was I afraid? I have no answer. But here I am Spilling my mind,heart and soul onto the screen. Her eyes can roam here. Those perfect eyes. See what I've written. Interested? Great.
If not what can I do?
Just sit here and keep playing my fool's fiddle.

Fuck.