You do the math.

Here I sit locked in thought. My head buried in my hands. I struggle to get to the bottom of my problems. I am the problem.
Plain to see. Easy to hear.
Mind, body and soul tarnished for now.
I hear whispers echoing around me, surrounding me, paranoia chilling me to my bones.
They're talking about me. I hear them. Their words cursing me. Striking me down.
Leave me be. I'm sorry. I apologise. All I ever do.

Why do I suddenly give a fuck about it all? Why do I have to care? Why did I develop a fucking conscience?
My mind fails to think of others until its to late.
Let me tell you one thing though.
You only hear what i want to say. You only see what I want to show.
Yes mistakes can be made, lies can be told and shit can be split.
What am I even chatting about? I have no clue. My mind moves faster than I can control.

I might disappear for a while. See if you notice. Go live in my dreams where its perfect.
Your kisses mean too much. My family is still together. And somehow Rugeley is connected to the fucking world from 5 steps. I feel happy there.
Its in my stomach. Its in my heart. It's in my mind.
Everytime I lean in for the kiss I'm nervous. Heart beats like a freight train pounding my chest.
Butterflies float around my stomach tickling the sides.

But in this reality. Still seated. Still defeated. Still holding my head in my hands. I'm not happy. Not even close. Because I have a horrible feeling we could drift apart. People have a habit of getting lost out there. In 10 years you could be just another woman I lost at sea. In 10 years you could very well be the love of my life.
My eyes will stay open. Because people blink and miss the moment. The moment that could have changed everything.
And most importantly. You smell good. Like home.

Unfaithfully yours

Jimmy Follows.

Fuck.