Here I Am.

Well. I'm happy. I'm actually smiling. I can feel the creases in my cheeks, the shakes inside when you try and contain a laugh.
What a beautiful feeling. Matches a beautiful mood.
I sit here on my sofa full of joy, a lust for life re-awakened.
Give me a bottle of whiskey, a slap and send me on my way.
I refuse to fall off this pedestal. I've experienced my fair share of shit but fuck it.
It's the past. And the past ain't now.
All it took was a few words off her and i realised something.
I don't need to be happy inside.
Just on the outset.
Because I know if you fake something long enough you become that something.

Here I am depressed as fuck. Insides aching. I can feel the tears in my eyes, floodgates waiting to open. I refuse to let them.
I'm happy-go-lucky. Atleast I still feel something. I'm not some fucking cold hearted cunt.
I'm a frozen hearted prick. A modern day Jeckyll and Hyde, two personas, one person.

Here I am fucked off. Anger frothing over, spewing out my mouth. I can feel the venom flowing,rushing over my enemies. Let them know I'm not backing down. Call me what you want.
I couldn't give a folding fuck. At least I'm not a liar to me. I'm true to myself.
I keep my head above water, to see where I can go from here.

Here I Am.

Fuck.